Effeminite Indie Squad...ATTACK!

I woke up this morning in a bit of a panic. 1) My grades are going to be remarkably underpar 2)I don't have a guest for my radio show friday morning and Free Speach Radio News is having all kinds of problems at KDVS. And most imporantly 3) I haven't gotten around to last years New Years resolution of telling my parents i'm gay. (thanksgiving passive agressive attempted ended rather anti-climaticially.) So how does a closeted unacademic shitty news director who is stone cold sober deal with his problems?Well, i've taken two approaches. First, I threw myself into the kitchen and made 5 Creme Brules with the help of my mom. when that didn't seem to work, I ate the creme brule for lunch and went out to the shooting range. Yes, the shooting range. I'm actually a pretty good shot, but whenever I aim for the head on the target I end up blowing giant holes in the neck. My new plan is to start the "effeminte indie guy squad" it would be something like the Mod-squad, but instead the Effem-indie guy squad would fight crime either by shooting people in the neck, or just confusing them with bands they have never heard of before burrying them in ironic thrift store shirts and deisel jeans. Things are kind of out of balance today. The one person in chico who I really need to talk to and see is no-where to be found. I think I am just going to rake some leaves.